Dear Senator Pluto, and Representatives Mickey and Minnie—names withheld because most American politicians are an embarrassment. I am writing today to express my concern about our politicians and share my opinion about healthcare.
Following the Trump Twitter feed allows me to predict the future. It’s true. Simply by following the tweets of a man who a year ago barely registered a blip on my information radar, I am able to predict what will happen in the coming hours, days, and weeks with surprising accuracy. It’s actually a little scary at times.
This jingle is in honor of the upcoming inauguration and the people obsessed with the Donald—those for and against—as well as the Donald’s prolific and sometimes annoying habit of tweeting occasionally useful but oftentimes irrelevant gibberish every time anyone does anything with which he does not agree.
In 1979 I wrote a letter to President Jimmy Carter. I was 11 years old and I knew more about the Los Angeles Dodgers starting lineup than I did about politics—Ron Yeager, Steve Garvey, Davey Lopes, Bill Russel, Ron Cey, Dusty Baker, Rick Monday, and the amazing Reggie Smith; the best team ever fielded. My mom complained a lot about the price of gas and I had a major crush on a girl named Dana. That letter to President Carter is a constant reminder that the US is greater than her Presidents.