It was disconcerting to read of my recent death in the NewsTribune—”Serving readers of the Illinois Valley.” The online periodical, obviously committed to brevity in a world of gratuitous loquaciousness, ingloriously reported that I “died the morning of December 31, 2016.” The revelation of my passing, er, death, got me thinking, which is a testament to the NewsTribune’s other commitment to thought-provoking reparte’.
Indianisms decorate the English language like adorned elephants in Rajasthan. More than a supplementary language in India, English is one of two languages recognized for use in the Official Languages Act of 1963. Despite 22 officially recognized languages in India—and more than a hundred unofficial languages—English continues to play an important role in commerce and trade, serving as a symbol of power and influence. The best part about English is the way Indian’s have made it their own, creating Indianisms as linguistically colorful as a spice market vendor’s cart.
This jingle is in honor of the upcoming inauguration and the people obsessed with the Donald—those for and against—as well as the Donald’s prolific and sometimes annoying habit of tweeting occasionally useful but oftentimes irrelevant gibberish every time anyone does anything with which he does not agree.
I recently attained enlightenment. At 7:46 PM UTC on 3 January 2017, 48 yrs, 236 days, 8 hrs, 15 mins, 31 seconds after exiting the womb and starting the search—I was progressive at a very young age—enlightenment descended over me like warm rays of sunshine. I know this because I tweeted as much seconds after the event—minus the colorful prose.